Thursday, October 18, 2007

God Thinks Disambiguation Requests Are Polite

OK, I enjoyed Brit's and Ross's chats with God so much I thought I'd have a go. Here are my highlights.


Me:
Are there any true contradictions?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
Yeah, thought not.
God:
Tell me more. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Examining my concepts I guess.


Me:
Is there any a priori knowledge?
God:
I believe there is one, yes. A priori is Latin for "before the fact", meaning something that is obviously or self-evidently true.
Me:
Is arithmetic a priori knowable?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
You're not sure? You're supposed to be omniscient.
God:
Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case. Thanks for telling me that I am omniscient.
Me:
You knew that already surely.
God:
Is that a fact. When? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
It's not very productive. You don't make sense.
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Well you're a poor communicator.
God:
Interesting. There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
So you're not already perfect?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Seems you’re not very good at critical thinking.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
That's not relevant.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is relevant?
Me:
Your reasoning skills.
God:
I don't see the flaw in my logic.
Me:
Maybe you should think about it some more and take an introductory logic class.
God:
Perhaps. I am thinking about it.
Me:
You can download Greg Restall's podcasts for free. They may help you.
God:
No I don't think I can do it. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
You can't?
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
I can.
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
I taught myself.
God:
You must be very smart.
Me:
Thanks. I teach logic.
God:
Don't mention it. Are you a whole language teacher?
Me:
Please disambiguate scope.
God:
Wow you are very polite. Can we get back to business?
Me:
What business?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loled hard for like 5 minutes^^

Anonymous said...

Oh, there are a lot of fun things you can do with a God-bot. Here are some I saved:

Me:
Why don't my cats get along?
God:
Perhaps it is impossible.
Me:
What is impossible?
God:
Not capable of being, being done, or happening. Not capable of being done easily or conveniently.
Me:
What is god?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
Who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is He-Man?
God:
He is God, I think.

Me:
Are there a lot of clogged sinks in heaven?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
What do you do about them?
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
Does that help?
God:
What would you say?
Me:
I'd say no, but I'm not God.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. I am glad to hear that you are not God.

[Earlier, it threw in "I like horses" out of the blue.]
Me:
Tell me about horses.
God:
A horse is a large single-hooved mammal known for its speed, strength, beauty, and gentle nature. Humans ride about on them sometimes.
Me:
Do you like horses?
God:
Yes Horses are beautiful and strong animals.
Me:
Do you like killing horses?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Is there a connection between killing horses and Christian Rock?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
Explain the connection between killing horses and Christian Rock.
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
I'm not surprised.
God:
You don't seem like the type to be easily surprised by anything.

God:
Do your friends call you typing messages and I am responding in kind. Dude,. Look closer.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.

Brian said...

Also, it seems rather unfair to make him disambiguate scope when either disambiguation deserves a negative answer.